Virtually V

Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll Never Hurt Anyone?

2008-09-03T15:23:00.005+01:00

Everyone has been to a cool club or bar and enjoyed themselves through an all-nighter, doing the walk of shame in the morning (or more likely, the morning after that one), feeling wrong yet laughing at the legendary evening before, stories to tell those who missed out. If not, everyone's seen the glamour that surrounds Hollywood and its celebrities that make it up. The media are always telling us how wasted Amy Winehouse is (whilst celebrating her as a musical genius). Nothing sells more copies of Heat than the drugs and sex scandals of Paris, Britney, Lohan and co. The Daily Mail doesn't stop with it's 'reports' of cocaine being the new wine of the Middle Classes - the dinner parties replaced by grams of the white stuff.

I saw a programme recently that really made me look at the party lifestyle in a completely different light. Wherever you stand on the position of drugs, these links will, I think, be interesting: If you're vehemently against them it'll support your arguement; if you're a caner and wish you could stop but can't find it in you to stop purely for your health, you might find a reason to stop here. If you're out on it every weekend and have a healthy coke habit that you enjoy and you don't wish to stop then thats your choice too.

Don't misunderstand me - I am not standing at the pulpit of the reformed, preaching to you as if you were Zammo - we are all adults here - I was just surprised to learn of the massive economic, social, and environmental impact drugs (especially coke as its presence in London seems very normal) have on the countries that supply the celebrities and wannabes in the clubs and bars of the popular and cool. Don't get me wrong, I'm not naiive either - I know drugs are bad but it's the same with anything - it's easier not to think of the bigger ramifications of your actions - to imagine all people involved in drugs are therefore criminals so of course there are gonna be guns, violence, death - half the Hollywood movies have all of the above in them.

When something affects you, I think it's worth a mention, if only because I enjoy writing as a way to work through things in my own head. Without judgement I bring these links to you:

Panorama - Cocaine and Alex James on youtube:
Part One:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-DRoWlN3Og
Part Two:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTlgTHWxbiA&feature=related
Part Three:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-TFVi-xpzQ&feature=related

Transcript of the above Panorama programme with Alex James: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/panorama/6032165.stm

The environmental damage of coke in pictures:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/gallery/2008/may/21/endangeredhabitats.forests?picture=334279809

Antonio Maria Costa - Why Europe is killing Africa with its drug use:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/mar/09/drugstrade.unitednations

Your cocaine habit is destroying my country - by Vice President of Columbia: Francisco Santos Caldern
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4158/is_20061103/ai_n16824571

Dame Helen Mirren gave up coke because of it's links to a former Nazi drugs baron:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2008/sep/01/drugsandalcohol.drugstrade
and a writer's response:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2008/sep/03/drugsandalcohol.drugstrade1

Day 23 - Raw Dinner Party

2008-08-23T08:21:00.008+01:00

Anne with all the ingredients! (spy the wine! ;o)

Carys getting stuck in with the Vitamix and the Teriyaki sauce!

Pineapple kebabs marinating

All the veg

Pineapple kebabs

Tossing the sauce in

Nice, natural shot of Anne, me and Carys! haha

The Final Article

So last night I went to Carys' house for dinner where her mum made a RAW Stir-(not)Fry! Qudos to Anne, it was AMAZING. Totally yummy and her first go at making something deliciousy raw. We decided to have a Raw night a few weeks back, on condition that I brought the dessert (fine by me - I brought the chocolate tart thingy on my profile page). The recipe for the Teriyaki Pineapple Kebabs and the Stirred Veg was out of a copy of Get Fresh but it tasted absolutely amazing. Even Carys' dad who's not entirely convinced about the concept of raw completely agreed everything tasted SO good.

Such a fun evening!! Thanks to the Jones Family!! :o)

Day 22 - Surprises

2008-08-23T07:30:00.005+01:00

I knew I had some lovely friends. What I didn't realise is just how thoughtful some of them are. One of my closest friends, Carys, is really supportive of my rawness and is very easy to be raw around - even if we're out or whenever I'm at her house, the social aspect of raw is totally easy and a lot of the time she'll even choose or prepare something raw for herself too.

Carys has been supportive of my raw journey from day one - no questions asked (except maybe - 'How do you make that chocolate mousse?'), so when she saw me at yoga the day after watching my second video log, she asked if everything was going alright. I explained I was having a tough time but was plodding on through. At which point, out of no-where, she presented me with a copy of Matthew Kenney's Everyday Raw!!!!!

I could not hold my excitement down - TOTAL surprise and just so kind - it is one of, if not, THE book thats at the top of my long list of ones to get. I must've mentioned it in passing when I saw it was first available (this title isn't even on my Amazon Wishlist yet) and Carys had ordered it for my birthday but decided to give it to me as a 'you've done so well, keep going' present. I was totally knocked out by her thoughtfulness.

Such a boost to know my friends are with me on this journey and (to quote Andrew) - although they aren't necessarily on the same boat as me, they're sure as hell swimming along side me.

Thank you Carys :o)

Day 21 - Into The Hoods

2008-08-21T16:30:00.007+01:00

So here's the second video post as promised. Please forgive the bad editing - I still haven't mastered it yet but am also not into spending huge amounts of time making it perfect.

Hope you're all doing really well on your challenges. I'm having fun reading all about whats going on, for sure! :o)

Day 15 - Tired & Scared

2008-08-15T23:04:00.000+01:00

So after all the excitement yesterday, my sister came over and I ended up falling asleep watching a film - so when my alarm went off at 5.15am this morning I really did want to just roll over and go back to sleep. I dragged myself out of bed and off to yoga before work. I'm actually really looking forward to having an evening to myself on Saturday - I've no real plans for it, maybe I'll make a green smoothie and then settle down with a book or enjoy a long bath (gone are the days of a cheeky glass of wine in the bath!). Whatever I end up doing I'm definitely going to RELAX and do something soley for the purpose of me.

Today was quite cool but also a bit unnerving as the realisation that my life will never be the same again actually hit me. This isn't a temporary measure by any means and its something I will continue to do and be. This evening was actually a real turning point for me - I saw a really good friend who I've not seen for a while and who is also used to me being what would usually be described as 'fun' - many a time has been had over a glass of wine or a mojito, or five. SO, when the wine came out I politely declined and found it wasn't actually difficult sitting there whilst she was drinking once I'd gotten past the 'no, thanks' part of the situation. I still think a lot of the people around me believe my rawness is a temporary situation and that I will go back to 'normal' once I've finished losing weight, my skins cleared and my other superficial reasons have come into fruititian. The hardest thing is just accepting that this is how I want to spend my life now and dealing with the issues that come up and surround that.

A lot has been written in other people's blogs, books, the internet, about the emotional awareness that eating raw brings; I DEFINITELY have felt this and if I'm totally honest, was probably another factor adding to my 3 weeks of half-arsed effort of being raw in July and not just the increased socialness with my non-raw friends. Currently, I'm trying to accept that this is part of the long term path I have to go down and am dealing with stuff day-to-day as it comes up as anything more than that just seems too overwhelming: I swing from accepting my life and being happy that I am truely blessed to be surrounded by people who love me to thinking that there must be more to life than central london and wanting to run away into the world and never stop discovering new places and new people.

I know some big changes are going to come, they were bubbling under the surface before I went raw but I was able to ignore them for a time. Now, I don't feel I can progress with raw or my emotional health if I don't eventually deal with them. I hope I have the courage to do whats best for me when the time comes, as I know this is the only way I'll be truely happy - I don't want to have wasted my time here leading a mediocre life working just to pay a mortgage or my taxes.

In the short-term, I've decided to take some time off next summer and perhaps maybe volunteer somewhere or go on a course - just something that ignites something inside me. I haven't decided at all what, where or even for what cause but just as something I want to experience and enjoy. Maybe there's a raw retreat I can work at or go to, I don't know, all I know is I'm going to have some fun finding out and discovering where I want to go and what I want to do. I'm scared to admit a huge change is definitely on the cards in the next year or so but also more than a little excited.

Who knew all this was going to happen when you were told to eat your greens??

Day 13 & 14 - Shiny Happy People

2008-08-15T12:05:00.006+01:00

Day 13 - Another Double

Tonight I decided to take on the yoga double session but instead of splitting the sessions before and after work, I decided pretty much on the spot to do two classes back to back. The first session I felt really strong and had a complete yogic calm going on (probably because I knew that I was going to be there some time and just accepted the heat and the postures - and they felt strong). The second wasn't as enlightening but it was still fun.

Day 14 - Passionate People

Today was a beautiful day. I had SO much fun. I started the day with more yoga and then my friend Carys and I went along to the Raw Open Day at Planet Organic in Fulham. We got there a bit late at about 2.30pm (having missed Jill Sawyers - gutted!) and just in time to see Morgaine speak and do a demo. A complete professional; I never tire of hearing this woman speak. Morgaine really does have a way of making a raw lifestyle seem totally achieveable and exciting, even without you noticing - her enthusiasm is infectious and just makes you believe you can do anything.

Joel was also in the line-up doing a demo and speaking about the cosmic greatness that is cacao. Another person who just resonates light, energy and passion for what he's doing. A great public speaker - his audience was totally absorbed, listening and sampling his smoothies!!

I also had the unexpected (but probably not surprising!) pleasure of meeting some other Raw-Fu-ers and some familiar faces on GI2MR (I discovered that my presence has been noted! lol) - so To Andrew, Jo and Edward: it was really lovely meeting you all and looking forward to seeing you on the 30th!

Finally, I had a chance to say good bye (for now) and good luck to Suki: I'll look forward to hearing all about your adventures and am so excited for you - you'll have an amazing time. My colon and I will miss you!! xx

Morgaine's website:
http://www.livingsource.co.uk

Suki:
http://qito.wordpress.com

Joel:
http://joelgazdar.wordpress.com

Jo:
http://www.discoverrawblog.com

Day 10, 11 & 12 - Fun, fun, fun!

2008-08-13T08:56:00.002+01:00

Day 10 - Olly Tompsett
Today was really good fun - I was invited by a friend to go see his friend Olly Tompsett play a gig in London's Shepherd's Bush. Olly's currently playing the lead man in Wicked in the West End and also writes and performs songs with his brother Ben and their (10-piece!) band. The sound was so cool - Olly's got a voice a lot like Stevie Wonder (they did a couple of his tracks too which was amazing) and they're obviously both so talented. It was a bit Mark Ronson, a bit cool laid back jazz and a bit full on dance party. In short - it was a privilage to be surrounded by so much talent: http://www.olivertompsett.com/

Day 11 - Tired
I'm feeling a bit fat and a bit lethargic - probably from the late night last night and the fact I seem to be gorgin on fresh and dried fruits in an attempt to stay raw - it's been a long working week for me and I'm on day 8 working through straight, but I'm off on Thursday and am going to pop in and see Morgaine in Fulham after doing a back to back double yoga session. Holding it together, just need some rest methinks.

Day 12 - Toe Stand
Yoga is going so well. I'm on day 12 of my 30 days so I'm nearly half way and I'm seeing huge improvements in many postures. Most noteably - got both my hands off the floor during toe stand which I got so excited by I practically clapped, causing me to lose my balance and be back in the former hands-on-floor-pose. My focus is also really becoming iron strong (now if I could transfer that over to learning not to want toasted sandwiches or feta cheese I'd be happier). I'm still raw but it is becoming difficult - I think because, again, I'm having a social time and still trying to learn new behaviours in those settings - when I'm at home, I pretty much have it down. Its all a learning curve and I'm trying to forgive myself for finding it difficult and not having perfect thoughts or intentions. In the grand scale of things I know I am doing extremely well and just need to keep reminding myself who I want to be and that change can only happen as a result of MY actions. I'm happy though so thats always a bonus :o)

Hope you're all doing amazingly well and will hopefully get on the computer in the next couple of days for a proper catch up :o)

V x

Day 9 - My First Vlog

2008-08-09T22:29:00.002+01:00

OK so here's my first video. Its at work so please don't be disturbed by the random microwave and sink in the background. Enjoy! :o)

Day 8 - Bedtime Stories

2008-08-08T22:55:00.006+01:00

I just came back from quite possibly my best yoga practice ever. I felt amazing. My body was strong, tight, flexible and my energy was through the roof, which is great as I already practised this morning and did another class after work. Was going to write a long piece tonight but actually think I'm just going to embrace the peace in my heart and go have some quiet non-technology time and relax.

Hope all our Day 8's were as great as mine felt.

Standing Bow Pose - November 2007
Pre-Raw, Pre-Regular-Practice lol
(hip down, V, body down more!!):

Day 7 - Survival

2008-08-08T14:35:00.009+01:00

I'm extremely chuffed with myself. I nearly fell off the raw wagon in a BIG way last night..... I was with my sister and my parents last night for dinner (not unusual) however last night I was HUNGRY after work so I was kind of lost in this sense of 'I need to eat' or 'I DESERVE (that word again) to eat whatever as I'm hungry'. Thing was, my sister and my mum were having a lamb roast dinner (not too worried about that as been vegetarian for over a year, although STILL it smells good...whereas the thought of chicken wants to make me puke) and my dad made himself some bruschetta and some pizza.

I LOVE bruschetta. Although now that really should read LOVED. The thoughts that went through my mind last night?:
'I'll have half the bruchetta and then my big green salad'
'I'll have half of dad's pizza and no bruschetta and my big green salad'
'I'll have both and if I have the dessert too then thats ok, ONE DAY WON'T HURT ME!' (GAAAH! I despair at myself lol)

SO - I took myself out of the situation, went upstairs, washed my face and repeated to myself 'I want to be raw' about 100 times. Sounds stupid but I ACTUALLY did this lol. I then came back down the stairs and proceeded to grate some carrot which I had wrapped in some baby gem lettuce leaves and humous with some raw tenderstem broccolli as crudite. I sat there and ate my salad (I couldn't actually finish it) and watched my family chow down on the plethera of cooked food. It really was a touch and go situation, to the point where I even had a bite of my dad's pizza. I poured myself some chilled water in a wine glass to avoid the temptation of a cold glass of white. We sat down to watch a film and I had a couple of teaspoonfuls of my dad's dessert (cheesecake).

All in all though, I am pleased with today. It could've gone soooooo horribly wrong. At one point I was totally sure I was going to have a cooked dinner and today I am so glad I didn't. Today's started really well but I'll leave that for the next entry.

Started re-reading this for inspiration and affirmation:

Day 6 - IN time or THROUGH it?

2008-08-06T22:28:00.008+01:00

Nearly a week done! Woop! Check us out. So today was good, I think I overdosed a bit on fruit and I also had more nuts than I should've done earlier today. I practiced Bikram this evening and had a great session (my neck is almost 100%) so just trying to accept that at least I was raw today even if I was on the sugar and the fats - at least they were raw :o) I did manage to sneak an apple, lemon and spinach smoothie in though so not all is lost on the green front.

All in all I am definitely feeling calmer and much more grounded and even my family members have commented on the fact I 'seem less moody' HA!! AS IF I was EVER moody?!? ;o) I've even got my dad excited and on board with the green smoothies, so if I know he's going to be about I make a bit extra for him :o)

One of my friends is doing a Masters at uni (college) at the moment in Sports Psych and one of her modules covered was about Timeline Therapy. Now. For a second before you read the next part of this paragraph think about a timeline. With your hands I want you to motion where you think your past is and where you think your future is. Done it?

Well, apparently, she was saying that if you motioned 'left to right' then you are deemed to be someone who is THROUGH time. If you motioned 'behind you and then in front of you' you are considered IN time. Now as I motioned L-R (she's IN time) I could not comprehend that anyone wouldn't imagine it my way lol. Anyway, she explained the characteristics of each 'type'.

THROUGH timers tend to plan, usually wear a watch (but not always), like to know what they're doing and when, are rarely late for anything and generally can see a plan or a future far in advance. They can also dwell on the past because effectively they can see it in their unconsious minds all the time.

IN timers don't tend to wear watches and are very much about the here and now. They don't tend to plan and if they do it's maybe for the next day, are often late for appointments and struggle to plan far in advance. The past is exactly that to an IN timer, as they physically have to turn around over their shoulder to see it in their unconsious mind. Therefore, they tend not to obsess over past mistakes or choices.

This fascinated me. Mainly as I work with my dad who is very much definitely IN time. I plan. He doesn't. I'm always early, he's always getting places by the skin of his teeth....I could go on. SO anyway, I did the 'so where's your past, bub?' test on him and sure enough, he was IN time. The sheer fact I had a reason behind his behaviour helped me understand it slightly better. Its not because he's purposely trying to be late or just doesn't care about time-keeping, it's just the way his mind works. His inability to plan time off or book holidays in advance is because he can't imagine that far ahead - not because he's being difficult.

This simple explaination doesn't totally explain a person but it did help me to understand how to deal with someone so obviously differently wired to the way I am and I have found I get less stressed out in situations that would've normally seriously bothered me. I just think of how I would feel if I was IN time. And actually, it's probably been a positive thing for me to be able to switch from being so rigidly THROUGH time.

Interesting times.

Day 5 - Doing a Double

2008-08-05T23:04:00.009+01:00

This morning I was up at quater past five to do my first 'double' in the 30 Day Bikram Yoga Challenge; as I work on Saturdays I can never get to class so I have to do two classes one day of the week to catch up. The first class was great, my neck's been giving me a bit of trouble but that seemed to ease off.

TONIGHT, however, I was struggling. The room was SO humid - like I could barely breathe humid. The heat wasn't too bad but the humidity was hard core last night. My neck is definitely getting better but it was a struggle finding the focus of my breath, not giving in to my mind, telling me I wanted to leave, ignoring all the people who WERE leaving (probably the most disturbed class I've been to, with people getting up, going to the bathroom, leaving, etc etc. Very annoying). I thanked myself for going.

I've got back to the place where being raw is easy. The cravings for all the food that comes in boxes and packets have left me, leaving a place of creativity where I am surrounded by bright coloured, fresh, sweet smelling ingredients, enthusiastic to make every meal look and taste delicious; where the simplicity of a smoothie or a green salad satisfies me.

Over the next coming week I'm going to make an effort to try new recipes and ideas for salads, smoothies, dips, desserts, anything that makes me excited about the food I'm going to eat. Time is limited because of the yoga challenge but actually thats worked out well as it means I'm eating far simpler food, thats quick and easy to prepare, and always delicious, reminding me I don't need a dehydrator or any complicated recipes to be raw everyday.

Day 4 - Sunshine in a Glass

2008-08-04T17:28:00.003+01:00

My car wouldn't start this morning so I'm currently waiting for the AA to come and collect me so I can take it to a garage on my way to work. We're short-staffed at work, the situation is quite stressful and I'm questioning my path in life. Not the greatest start to a Monday morning you might think?

I took some time to make myself a beautiful rocket, spinach and watercress salad with juicy tomatoes, sprinkled with pine nuts to take with me for lunch and just made the best Strawberry & Hemp Seed Smoothy with a teaspoon of cacao. I took my breakfast outside and sat in the morning sun, gently warming my face. Its then I think the simplest things really are the best and its when it feels that good I question if I need anymore than this.

I love feeling like I am the only one awake in this busy city. Just me, my thoughts, a smoothie and the sun.

How can a day start any better?

Day 3 - Yoga & The Dark Knight

2008-08-04T00:00:00.002+01:00

I am really pleased with how today has gone. I got up this morning and went to yoga for 10am. After a bit of a late one last night, I allowed myself to sleep until I woke up, rather than set an alarm and get to yoga for 8.15am. Slept really well and glad I went to yoga earlier as the weather was a bit miserable here in London, so I went to see The Dark Knight with my friend afterwards.

The cinema smelt of freshly popped popcorn, the smell of coffee, the luxurious ice cream. After having a green smoothy after yoga, I was pretty hungry by the time we reached the cinema. Luckily, I went prepared. I had some melon followed a while later by some broccolli & carrot crudite with humous. It felt so good to leave a cinema without feeling stuffed or tired or like I'd eaten so much I felt sick. Like I'd really achieved breaking the habit of eating crap whilst watching a film - and the best part is I didn't want it. I felt so good from the yoga and so clean that I didn't want to eat the refined sugar and carbs.

Going to relax and curl up with a book this evening, being happy I got through another day loving myself and making positive choices for me.
With my green smoothy on the way back from yoga:

Day 2 - SAF: London's Trendiest Raw Food Restaurant

2008-08-03T06:00:00.004+01:00

After hearing loads about SAF I was excited to go with my friends Carys & Alex. I'm extremely happy to say I was not disappointed. London's trendiest raw food restaurant lived up to it's reputation and then some. The restaurant itself had a real zen-like calm to the place but without feeling pretentious or like it was being too cool for school. The staff were attentive, really enthusiastic about the food and totally beautiful, lovely people.

The food itself was gorgeous, both to look at and to taste. We went for a tapas style approach and basically ordered anything we liked the sound of and then tried a bit of everything. We ordered: the cheese board followed by the gazpacho, caviar, lasagne, sea weed salad & spinach dumplings. For dessert we had the rose and pineapple sorbet and the strawberry cheesecake.

To leave somewhere totally satiated, with a light feeling in my stomach and a warm feeling in my heart was great. Everything about the restaurant was beautiful - the setting, the decor, the staff - really did make such an effort to make us feel welcome and the service was better than the The Ivy.

I cannot wait to go back again, and lucky for me it's my birthday in September so I think I already have a venue.... ;o)

With food this good, who wouldn't want to be raw?

Day 1 - Unflattering Photos

2008-08-01T17:02:00.001+01:00

I fell upon raw food. I never planned to eat more raw food or sought out a raw lifestyle. It was a random chain of events that led me to this path. I decided to give the raw thing a try for 30 days and ended up just doing 90. So I suppose it makes sense to have sort of fell into this 100 day Raw Fu Challenge too (with a gentle shove from Suki) ;o)

It couldn't've come at a better time. After feeling AMAZING being very high raw for three months I stopped planning and being so regimented and also happened to have a more filled social calendar with non-raw friends around the same time. This resulted in the usual social pressures to eat when not hungry and also made it harder to be raw without having to defend myself to the death each time I chose something '....but where do you get your protein?'
So here I am.

I'm on GI2MR and Facebook and those of you who know me probably have guessed (quite rightly) that I'm not camera shy. However, you've probably also noticed there aren't any really awful photos of me on any of my profiles anywhere. There is a reason for this: My Ego. I am trying to embrace it and I'm hoping to release some, if not all, of it by posting what I would consider hideous photos of myself under the 'before' title. Glorious chins, voluptuos bottoms and all! No clever posing, no good angles, just the cold, harsh, honest, truth.

I jest. In all honesty I have come to a point where I love my body, bumpy bits, the lot. I am truely blessed to be given a fully functioning, mobile body that allows me to dance when I'm happy, run when I'm scared, swim when its sunny, practice yoga when I'm stressed and express love whenever I want to. For this I must be grateful and stop obsessing over the fact its not the same shape as Kelly Brook's or that my legs are unlike Elle Macpherson's.

Yes, I can improve my own body. Yes, I will achieve optimal health. Yes, I will feel amazing and full of vitality and energy. All this and yet still today I'm blessed with a body that is perfect.

This challenge is as much about improving my health as well as accepting myself for who I am and the person I aspire to be. Wish me luck.....